Thoughts on Mindful Breathing
Mindful breathing is a powerful tool. I didn’t realize until I was 27 just how much of my life I spent holding my breath. I was in the throws of struggling through postpartum anxiety and would often catch myself either holding my breath or breathing so shallowly that I would get dizzy and even more anxious. It is a terrible feeling. Maybe you can relate?
My mom is a midwife which means that I spent many hours of my childhood sitting in the back of childbirth education classes. Phrases like “the power of breathing” and “intentional breathing” - feel a bit like my native language. Yet sometimes when things are so close to us, we tune them out and don’t recognize their true power. This is certainly true for me in this case.
I know that my children will have to learn much about mindfulness and breath work in the time and manner that resonates with them. The tools I’m using with them may or may not stick. But I think that our role as parents is to plant seeds. We can model behavior and we can provide skills and resources. How those end up growing and being used will ultimately be up to them.
Mindful breathing is a helpful tool in learning to deal with stress and anxiety. It can help us and our children to navigate emotions. It can help us to more efficiently and effectively cool down when tempers flare. It can also help us sharpen our concentration.
There is no doubt that this is a helpful tool in parenting and LIFE. The question is, how do we teach it? How do we model it? What does it look like in the midst of the often-chaotic-day-to-day-life? I have a few thoughts to share on that.
Keep it positive. Never use breathing prompts as punishment. If I need to go cool off and take my OWN hot second to calm MY breathing down I will remove myself from the situation to do that. Then I’ll go address issues with my kids.
My children learn new concepts best through story and through play. I absolutely love this book, My Magic Breath, which discusses the power of mindful breathing. It gives great imagery and ideas for practicing mindful breathing. I will also role play and act out breathing exercises with my kids which helps to solidify the idea.
Make it fun. There are a lot of ways to do this. When my children were young we would often blow bubbles together as a way to practice breathing deeply and well. In times of frustration, this was a helpful way to distract them while practicing intentional breathing. When I was an inpatient nurse we often used bubbles after surgery with kids as a way to keep their lungs open and their breathing deep in order to prevent pneumonia. Bubbles are magic!
Make it interactive. My kids love their “breathing break jars” which are basic sensory jars (they love making their own!). We fill them with water/glitter/sequins (note: with little kids you can hot glue the lids on if you DON’T want glitter all over your couch!) I explain to them that when we feel anxious or upset our minds often feel like the glitter that’s been shaken up — our thoughts can be swirling and feel overwhelming. But when we calm our bodies and take deep breaths, our thoughts will start to settle like the glitter does. I have them shake up their jars as hard as they can and then set them down and take slow deep breaths until the glitter settles. They love it!
Make it visual. I’ve created some deep breathing prompts that are helpful tools. They make breathing exercises visual and real. They often sit on our table during homework time. I may need them as much as my kids do during that pre-dinner-after-school-exhausted-frustrating-homework-time! You can grab them to try here for free. I hope they’re helpful for you and your kids!
Model it. Isn’t this the answer for so much of parenting?! It can also be one of the hardest parts. But it is a powerful thing for our children to see us using the same tools that we teach them. I often will also verbalize what I’m doing with my kids and tell them, “Mommy is feeling upset right now and just like you need to take your deep breaths when you’re frustrated, so do I. It helps my brain to have extra oxygen when I’m upset too.”
I hope these tools and ideas are helpful for you! Will we always be intentional and mindful with our parenting? NOPE! But do we get to keep trying and learning and growing right alongside our kids? ABSOLUTELY. May we be kind and forgiving and loving towards ourselves and our little people.